The Lord's Haven Online

A joyful heart is good medicine, But a broken spirit dries up the bones. - Proverbs 17:22

Everyone's sense of humor is different.
Enjoy the jokes which bring a smile to your face, joy to your heart and renew your spirit.
Allow the others to pass with grace.

One Liners and Groaners

What do you call a sleep walking nun? A Roman Catholic!

If a deaf person swears does their mother wash their hands with soap?

How many Pentecostals does it take to change a light bulb? Ten. One to change the bulb and nine to pray away the spirit of darkness!

How many Amish does it take to change a light bulb? What's a light bulb?

If peanut oil is made from peanuts and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He got his size from eating too much pi.

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

I thought I saw an optician on an Alaskan island, but it was only an optical Aleutian.

A backwards poet writes inverse.

I wondered why the baseball was getting larger, then it hit me.

Two hats were on a rack. One says to the other, "You stay here, I'll go on a head."

Two guys walk into a bar. It hurt.

The only good thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs.

One day at the Olympics a man was carrying a rather large pole. A reporter walks up to him and asks, "Are you a pole vaulter?" The man replies, "No, I'm a German. And how did you know my name was Walter?"

I've decided to stop procrastinating!... Tomorrow...

There are no perfect churches. And if you find one, don't go. You'll ruin it.

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